By: Odoh Oliver Odoh
According to online dictionary.com, jealousy stands for: mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. vigilance in maintaining or guarding something. A jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood. Also Cambridge English Dictionary sees jealousy as, upset and angry because someone that you love seems interested in another person: thus jealousy is a natural tendencies innate in both higher and lower animals.
Jealousy is a double edged sword each serving according to usage. Jealousy is a security server to the entire system of love. The antivirus of any relationship is jealousy. Most at times this obedient servant of love is misjudged or misinterpreted; due to wrong application.
Jealousy in it's positivity keeps love afloat and resist any rival. Jealousy in it's negativity proceed from selfish interest, personal distrust, strict parental upbringing, snooper, fear of the unknown, guilty conscience, self hatred etc.
Most relationship or marriage under crisis today has element of jealousy in it's negative aspect. Often time, those to whom their partner is jealous off are not aware of such inclinations in them. The question now is of what use is jealousy in any relationship? Having considered what jealousy is all about in a precise way and it's positive and negative applications; it is important to note that jealousy from the beginning is one of the attributes of a supreme being know as all good (God).
From the biblical point of view God Himself declared that He is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14, 20:5) and since we are made in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:20) then we are all naturally jealous. This natural inclinations of supremacy of God over other gods is also in all living creatures that no one wants another to take advantage of him/her. This aspect of jealousy is useful in making relationship a serious business rather than child's play. It set the Pace in any relationship which everyone in it most follow. Jealousy in this aspect gives no room for alternative or supplementary. Best put in marital language of cheating, "changing of soup".
Another usefulness of jealousy in relationship is accountability. Jealousy in relationship prob into everything and seeks proper explanation for every actions. Therefore it is useful in affirming that the right thing is done at the right time. Also jealousy in relationship helps to create tension that reveals the inner value or self worth of the jealous. Every relevant relationship is subjected to the scrutiny of jealousy. Further more, jealousy is the magnetic content of love that attracts two lovers and metamorphose them into husband and wife.
Nevertheless, some people argue in favour of love saying that "love is not jealous". To clear the ground on this I will refer back to the biblical text again which affirmed that "God is love"(1John4:8) if that be the case that God is love and He is a jealous God then love is jealous. So love without jealousy is inactive that means it is dead. Love is jealous but only on the positive side, in the sense that Love jealously preserve the covenant part of the relationship which everyone is voluntarily involved by the simple act of acceptance to be in any kind of relationship. On the other hand, excess jealousy turns the one involved into a gossiper/rumor monger.
The dichotomy between moderate jealousy and excessive jealousy in relationship is that the former is open to dialogue where's the later reduces the value of such person and turn the person into a side talk lover and fault finder. Those who are excessively jealous in relationship foolishly disconnect every networks (opportunities) that could have bring growth and successfully led love between them to it's obituary through constant nagging. To be jealous is normal thing but to what extent is another thing.
Psychologically speaking, jealousy format and reset the brain password of it's abusers. Excessive jealousy in this regard make someone to think and formulate things that are not necessary and cook them into serious issues; Capable of leading to separation of the relationship or divorce in marriage. We must take note that jealous is good for us to be humans but must be regulated by trust to avoid excesses.
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