THE ADOLESCENT GIRL AND HER STRUGGLE WITH LIFE

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By
OBETTA HELEN ONYINYECHI
(helenobetta66@gmail.com)



Abstract

There is nothing more difficult and challenging than when one is undergoing a transformation from one stage in the human development to another without understanding what is going on within him/herself rather battles with it. Hence this is the struggle with life. Just like any other human being, an adolescent girl struggles with life, these struggles are sometimes not seen or noticed but she faces a lot of challenges. Such struggle like; wanting to take some decisions by herself regardless of the outcome, for at this point she feels of age to decide what's good for herself, she wants to buy her clothes by herself, her choice of school, friends and where to go, etc.

1.0. INTRODUCTION


The sudden growth of an adolescent girl with rapid physical changes makes her self-conscious, sensitive and most times worried about her body changes and most times makes painful comparisons about herself with her peers. These girls may be anxious if they are not ready for the beginning of their menstrual period especially if her friends with whom she compares herself with has started theirs. At this fascinating stage of her life, she needs to be guided because she is liable to make a grievous mistake that might keep her in regrets for a life time. At this stage of life, the adolescent girl has much confidence in herself and with the much confidence that she is now a grown up girl or what they often refer as big girl, its usually difficult for her to take people's advice. Hence for this reason, she needs care and love because trying to pull her back forcefully might result to a misunderstanding and complicate issues.


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 She needs to be taught of the changes in her body, which some parents fail to play this role properly thereby exposing their child to wrong information, because this girl wants to know and her being inquisitive to know is a natural part of her growing up regarding the age she is. She wants to really understand the changes in her body and when parents especially Mum's fails to explain it in details to her, she goes out to get answers to her questions and it's usually from her peers or internet and this exposes her to wrong information due to her eagerness to know more .

   It is worthy to note here that during adolescence, it is normal for the young girl to begin to separate from their parents and make their own identity but this may lead to conflict in some families as most parents try to keep control. In the quest for freedom friends becomes more important as adolescent pulls away from their parents in search of their own identity, this peer group may become a safe heaven. 

Adolescent girl becomes stronger and more independent before they have developed a good decision-making skills, most times a strong need for peer approval may tempt her to take part in risky behaviors just to feel included or for her to belong and avoid being a Jew girl. Therefore amidst all these going on in the adolescent girl, this article has found it interesting to expose us all to the various struggles faced by an adolescent because to know is to be aware and to be aware is to be informed.



2.0. DEFINITION OF TERMS


Adolescence:  Adolescence is the process of developing from a child into an adult. It is a time for growth spurt and puberty changes, a phase of maturation, a transitional period of physical and psychological human development between childhood and adulthood. During adolescence children develop the ability to understand abstract ideas, that's why they should be guided so they don't get exposed to wrong information. Thus, an adolescent is the one undergoing the stage of adolescence.
Struggle: This is a forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or constriction. It is also define as the ability to make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties.




3.0. FAMILY AS A SOLID FOUNDATION IN MAKING AN ADOLESCENT GIRL  TO WALK IN THE RIGHT TRACK

Families play great role in the upbringing of a child, the reason why it is usually of a great influence is because every individual comes from a home. The family lays the foundation for the individual's development and happiness as well as society's cohesion and advancement. As a microcosm of the human race, the family is a key instrument for establishing peace through the encouragement of such virtues as love, unity, compassion, justice, respect and loyalty.

The saying "train up a child in the way he should go, so that when he grows he would never depart from it is a good example showing us the great influence our families have on us as individuals so when this family which is supposed to be a guide to us doesn't create time to do that or even misleads us probably out of ignorance it affects the individual while trying to associate with people in the circular world. Parenting isn't just the bringing forth a child; it is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood. When parents fail to play this role properly it affects the child and the society at large and effect is usually much the girl child than boys.

Parents needs to pay serious attention to her because it is at this stage that she is most likely or often need privacy to understand the changes taking place in her body and teasing her about these physical changes is wrong, it makes her feel embarrassed. As her body undergoes these changes she becomes attractive to the opposite sex and this is where problems arise because if not properly handled she might interpret this attraction or feeling as love. This attraction might sometimes extend to the parents and if it crosses the parent-child boundaries it may lead to inappropriately intimate behavior with the adolescent and this is known as incest.


4.0. THE ADOLESCENT GIRL AND HER STRUGGLE WITH LIFE  INDEPENDENCE AND POWER STRUGGLES

That quest in an adolescent girl to become independent is a normal part of her growth and most times parents misinterpret it as rejection or loss of control. Parents ought to be constant and consistent always, available to listen to the child's ideas without dominating independent identity. Parents should know that this adolescent will repeatedly challenge their authorities and this is where the struggle begins because the parents are ever going to overpower her and this will make her lose face, feel embarrassed, inadequate and sometimes bitter.

These girls should be guided properly with love so that they don't get exposed to wrong information from their peers, books, social-media, movies, internet or what they hear from people around. They exposure to these wrong vice might lead them astray. I once saw a fifteen years old girl in (JS3) who was pregnant and thrown out by her Mother. As she narrated her story, she was impregnated by a boy in her compound who was seventeen and in (SS2). The girl said that as she told her Mummy who was responsible for her pregnancy her Mummy didn't believe her. Through all she narrated, I understood that her Mummy is this BUSY mother who rarely has time for her children and practically doesn't give a listening ear to them.


 As she was thrown out she slept by the road side since no one welcomed her... what do you think this girl would do with her life at this point? As I asked her more questions, I realized she is considering terminating the baby if she by any means sees money since she had no where to stay, no source of income, and no assistance from anyone and the feeling of rejection. This young girl has lost the love and care of her family, dropped out from school and faced with an overwhelming responsibility at a very tender age. The question here is, if she decides to keep the baby how is she going to cope with the challenges of nurturing a child and also the stigmatization from her peers and family.

 In the other side, if she decides to terminate the baby, she might face the risk of losing her life or might tamper with her womb and this would leave an everlasting regrets with her.
In the same light, another girl of sixteen who was in (SS1) out of quest to discover the changes in her body got impregnated by her class mate and at the process of terminating the pregnancy, lost her life. Remember she didn't just die she died with another life in her, lost all her dreams and also wasted God's purpose and intentions for her life, whereas the person who damaged her dreams went free living his normal life as if nothing happened. Unfortunately girls are usually the ones that suffer the consequences of premarital sex; it's not as if men do not struggle for sexual purity but to fulfill the mandate in Titus 2:3-5 that's why I penned this down. Apart from getting pregnant these girls are exposed to sexually transmitted infections, as they would always say "we used protection". I would be wondering, protection from what? Besides the fact that condoms aren't a reliable protection against pregnancy, what about protection from future thought patterns? From damaged emotions? What about protecting the wonder of God's gift of sex within marriage? Sexual sins threaten the very credibility not only of our personal relationship with God but the whole of Christianity. But the pressure from peers has made girls go astray in the attempt to belong not understanding that friends can be deceptive even the Bible warns against bad company (1cor 15:33) "Evil communication corrupts good manners".




5.0. CONCLUSION

The struggle of an adolescent girl shouldn't be neglected because it has a lot of pressures from peers and society. Therefore, she should be loved, cared for, protected and educated about the changes in her body and how to take care of herself: Hygienically - to always bath, wash her clothes to ensure she doesn't end up with body odour; Physically- her diet, her appearance should be neat and she should exercise to help her developing muscles; Emotionally- so that she would be able to control her craving for sex, and her mood swings so it doesn't affect her association with people in the circular world and also Socially- because most girls feel shy due to the changes in their body and might start withdrawing from her peers or activities and this might kill her self esteem or confidence.
If her parents or guidance could be attentive and give a listening ear to the adolescent girl am sure that the issue of teenage pregnancy and that of premarital sex would reduce or stopped totally. Let's help these girls by guiding them; they are usually the ones to suffer the consequences afterwards while the boys go freely. You see that young lady beside you, guide her, protect her, love and care for her so that she don't sort for it elsewhere and then be misled.





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