MORALITY STRUGGLE BETWEEN THE VALUES OF BEING A CHRISTIAN MOTHER AND THE MORALITY OF THE MODERN TIME

 Abstract

The world is dynamically manifesting new waves in thought, reasoning and in socialization. Meaning in the world, is only created by man and the more man thinks he knows, the more he modifies his perspective about the world. The stage of man's civilization, is a stage where man thinks he knows all and can do anything that he wants forgetting that he was created by God whom he owns accountability. This thought of, "I know all and no regard for God" in the name of secularism has brought a lot damages especially as it concerns this article; the values of being a Christian mother. In the wave of secularism, it becomes therefore, paramount to revisit and revamp those core values a Christian mother is known for. 

Introduction

Modern world that is technologically oriented, is undergoing a critical redefinition on all the things termed moral and immoral such that many things which were immoral are gradually undergoing an industrial reformation and packaging; and from the view of: “This is my freedom and rights”, have become critical topics of debates; if they are really immoral like: transgenderism, homosexualism (lesbianism and gayism), abortion, suicide, etc. Some of these previously termed immoral and taboo, have gained weight in many places, secretly in Nigeria, and widely accepted in some of the Western countries as moral and normal way of life.

All of these are as a result of the influx of secularism which is gradually creeping into the Christendom. For instance, the Anglican Church of England has accepted that homosexualism which includes gayism and lesbianism is moral and biblical and thus, made the church of Nigeria of Anglican Communion to break out from the Church of England. There is indeed a serious war between secularism with its definition of morality and Christianity with its definition of morality.

Secularism with its force did not spare the core values of what it takes to be a Christian mother. From early 60s down to late 90s, when you hear that someone is a Christian mother it means she is a peacemaker, a home manager, she keeps her matrimonial vows, respect her husband and raises her children in the way of the Lord. Nowadays, secularism has taught new-age mothers a new style of being a mother away from the Christian values of being a mother. Worst of it is the invention of Android phones and different social media platforms; a mother who is breastfeeding her child has her phone and she is on Facebook and WhatsApp and many more of such ugly, and horrible behaviours depicted by New-era mothers.

Hence, it is crucial to revisit some of the core Christian values of being a mother, bringing them to the consciousness and subconsciousness of our mothers and to the forefront such that no matter the value or ways of secularism and how it paints immoral acts to look moral, Christian mothers must know the truth because it is what shall set them free.

Secularism Understanding of Being a Mother

Secularism seeks to remove or minimize the role of religion in public affairs. It interprets life solely from the material word and therefore, concentrates on the temporal and not heavily things. It promotes freedom without responsibility. Secularism understands that being a mother is not a big task. For them, the most important thing is for you to have a child you call your own or who lives under your roof. Secular mothers allow their children to run on their own, that is, they allow modern mentality to incorporate in their mindsets and lifestyles while they are busy working and looking for wealth.

Nothing is wrong or immoral. For them, a married woman is free to divorce her husband at will just as we see mostly in the Western world. Nothing is wrong in keeping another man who is not their husband. It is fine to fight their husbands. It is fine to run mouth on their husbands. For them, whoever provides for the family (breadwinner), is the husband and the head of the family. It understands motherhood as not been attached to any man you call husband; it promotes single motherhood or parenting. Marriage is not one of its strong values. It takes men as object of pleasure and sexual satisfaction and not as a companion; hence, it supports contract marriage and when the contract is over, the two parties go separate ways.

A woman influenced by secularism does not see abortion as killing of human beings rather it is flushing of unwanted product out from the body. Such a person does not fear God because she believes that there is no God. She attends church just for flexing and to showcase the new clothes she bought. I once met one at Port Harcourt. She told me that why she does not always goes to church is because she has no new clothes. It is a pity!

Who is a Christian Mother?

Against the dictionary definition of a mother from a circular background, a Christian mother is not solely one who has given birth to a child or children. She is one who is legitimately married to a man. I said legitimately because she is not a woman who is living with a man that has not paid her bride price. She is one who is selfless, loving, must be a person who fears God and tries to walk in the ordinances of God. She works hard to make sure their children or child or one under her is equipped with the knowledge of God and skill to make it in life as a competent human being. A Christian mother respects her husband no matter the situation and she keeps to their matrimonial vows come What May! She is not after other men for either money or sexual gratification; she is faithful, she is contented with what they have, and works hard to support her husband and family.

Redefining the Core Principles of a Christian Mother

Respect for the Husband: St Paul in Ephesians 5:33, advices Christians especially mothers to respect their husbands. When you respect your husband, you notice him, regard him, honour him, prefer him and esteem him. This means regarding and valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values. She protects her husband and does not slander him at his back. A Christian mother takes her husband as her best friend. Saint Peter in 1Peter chapter 3 from verse 1 to 6 also advises that a Christian mother is submissive to her husband. For Saint Peter, which I agree with him; submissiveness will win the hearts of the husband. Do not run mouth on your husband

Fear of God: Fear of God means total respect for God and living a godly life. Proverbs 31:30 says, “A woman who fears God shall be praised”. She should know that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the holy one is understanding (cf. Proverbs 9:10). To fear God, is to trust God, love him and take him as the bedrock of your life. It means regarding God’s things as yours and being dedicated in serving God. 

Teaching her Children the Lord’s ways: One of the roles of a Christian mother is not only to give her children sound education (former education), they are to direct their children towards the path of the Lord. The family being a domestic church, with the presence of a Christian mother, the children should at early-stage be taught the values of attending church, not only that, but on time, and how to pray some of the prayers as Christian. A Christian mother must focus the attention of her children towards loving God and fearing him. She must teach them that there is nothing more important than God and his works.

Peace-maker: Most importantly, a Christian mother is a peacemaker both in the family, in the church and in the society. To be a peacemaker means she is peaceful inside herself. The fear of God in her allows her to find peace because she trusts God with her life. Again, she tries her possible best to see that there is no decision that will lead to conflict and she stands as a bridge between opposing parties who want to enter into conflict or are in conflict.

Homemaker: A Christian mother being a homemaker in this case means that she organises her family to be a livable environment. She starts by teaching her husband what is love and respect by her attitude towards him. She teaches her children the values of being good children who love their parents and God. She corrects her husband and children in love and not violently. She gives her children the best basic education; for boys, she teaches them what it means to be a boy and for girls, she teaches them the importance of being chaste, especially in the world of conflicting sexuality and identity.

A role model: A role model is someone people look up to and imitate his or her character just like Saint Paul in 1Corinthians, advises them to imitate him just as he imitates Christ (1Corinthians 11:1). 

A guardian and protector: Guidance means showing people the way or path to follow. As a protector, she keeps safe her children. A mother must be guidance to her children such that she directs them towards the godly ways and instill in them Christian principles and moralities. As a protector, she makes sure that her children are not influenced by devil who wanders around looking for people to deceive. 

Advice for the Christian mothers

Monitor what your children watch: In a world where morality has gone insane to display things that are not meant for the public consumption like sex and private parts of the body have become common in our world, a Christian mother must monitor what her children watch in the name of movies. In the house, they must make sure that what they watch is not sexually-oriented. She should know that there are things that are not meant for kids or children but for adults.

Know where your child goes: This is problematic these days. This is easily achievable by starting at the tender age to build the confidence in your kids to confide in you. Make them trust you that they see you as someone who want good for them. At the very tender age, make it a principal for them that no one leaves the house without saying where he or she is going: it starts from you, before you go out tell them where you are going; this will make them copy from you.

Tell them the Truth: Do not lie to them especially about their genetic makeup; being a boy and a girl and what it means to say the truth at all cost. You, yourself must be a person who is known for saying the truth.

Give your children sex education: Teach them what it means to live a healthy life with the opposite sex. From tender age, please do not lie to them especially the girls. Do not behave like a typical African mother that will tell their girl children that when a man touches them they will get pregnant. Girls are fragile and their sexual composition is more complicated than that of boys, therefore, attention should be given to them. They should be able to learn from their mother what is monthly flow and how to take care of themselves.

Conclusion

You are in the world but you are not from the world (John 17:14), Jesus tells his disciple; even Christian mothers must bear that in mind come What May. Christian mother must not conform to the morality of the modern era, rather, she must hold firm the Christian teaching of what it means to be a mother. There is that tendency that people will not like you, they will criticize you that you are trying to be a saint especially when you try to live by the Christian principles of being a mother but know that because you are not of the world, the world will hate you. Always remember that and always remember the word of Jesus in John chapter 15 verse 18 to 19

“If the world hates you know it that it has hated me before. If you were of the world, the world will not hate you but because you are not of the word therefore, the world hates you.”

By: Abonyi, Hyginus Ebuka

St Albert Institute, Fayit-fadan, Kagoma, Kafanchan, Kaduna State.

E-mail:hyginussixtus@gmail.com (+2348133312797)